Craig Giesecke
Gah! I have just gotten through wrestling with one of those rolls of plastic wrap (I won’t name names) we all have in our kitchens for wrapping food portions or bread or whatever is needed for use later. The stuff never unrolls without effort, then each brand has a different location for the cut-off strip. Is it on the box? On the boxtop flap? No matter where it is, it never does a clean job of tearing a straight edge. Then you’ve got a ragged, odd-shaped piece of wrap that either sticks to itself too much or not at all. All I wanted to do is wrap up some bread to put in the freezer. Frustrating.
A couple of weeks ago, this column was about commercial kitchen things that can be adapted for use at home. Please add commercial plastic film and heavy-duty aluminum foil to that list. Right now. A roll that’s 18 inches wide and 500 feet long will last the average home a year or maybe more. The cost of each is about $25 at Sam’s or Caire or, if you have access, Restaurant Depot. This size roll will easily cover anything that needs covering at your house and more than pay for itself through lack of frustration or wasting time and product using the non-commercial stuff. Really.
At least a couple of times a week, I find myself wishing our kitchen at home had some of the big toys of a commercial operation. A food processor that can grind a baseball bat into sawdust. A dishwasher with a 90-second start-to-finish time. Or one of those big, suspended sprayers to dislodge food from dirty plates. I’d also be an advocate of changing residential building codes to require a floor drain in every kitchen, bathroom and laundry room. The aesthetics might not be as gentle, but cleanup would be a lot faster.
I suppose this just shows the culinary world is no different than any other. Just as restaurants are fast to put “homemade” or “house-made” somethings on their menus, those cooking at home and in their house want “restaurant quality” appearance and flavor (assuming, of course, they’re thinking of a particular good restaurant).
Sometimes, food producers try to bridge this gap by pre-seasoning or pre-portioning things in an effort to provide the best of both worlds. In my experience, the first thing that suffers is quality – followed quickly by your bank account.
This past week, I was asked to try out a couple of new products that were junior-sized versions of some rather normally bulky items (a Boston butt pork shoulder and a turkey breast). Fat had been trimmed away, bones removed, portion size was just enough for two and both came pre-seasoned and with detailed instructions, which (despite reservations) I followed to the letter.
The results? Flavor was lacking or downright weird. The overly processed turkey had an odd consistency more like bread pudding than any kind of meat. The pork was far too dry. The bottom line is I would have served neither at home nor in a commercial establishment. Major fail.
Additionally, the per-pound cost of this “convenience” was a good 75% or more higher than buying a small shoulder or regular turkey breast, eating what you want and freezing or refrigerating the rest for another time. While the larger item might take longer to cook, it is no more difficult or, in the case of the pork, actually easier.
If you’re trying to bridge the gap between at-home convenience and restaurant quality, my suggestion is stick with the prepared foods section of any reasonable grocery store. You’ll find the food much fresher, much less (or un-) processed and it’s packaged in a way that you’ll just have to bring it to temperature in your oven or microwave. The person who assembled it is usually right behind the counter to answer any questions about ingredients and preparation. Particularly in this city, they’re also usually experienced and talented enough to be working in any restaurant kitchen (if they haven’t already).
Besides, you’ll be saving a little money and keeping it at home. That’s especially important these days.
Craig Giesecke has been a broadcaster and journalist for over 30 years, including nearly two decades at the AP and UPI covering news, sports, politics, food and travel. He has been the owner of J’anita’s for five years, serving well-reviewed upscale bar food and other dishes. Comments are encouraged and welcomed.
