Cecile Tebo
‘Tis the season to be jolly… Or is it?
My first Facebook message when I woke up the other morning was from the “skinny crock potters:” “Good morning, skinny crock potters,” it said, “did you have a successful ‘skinny’ weekend?” Oh, the dread. After a night of munching down on lasagna, turkey casserole, crawfish pies, jambalaya, pork, white chocolate cake, flan and brownies this was not the best message to start the day. But ’tis the season, right? So, feeling a bit bloated and blue, I thought it appropriate to reflect a bit on the holiday blues, a very real phenomenon that happens around this time of the year.
You would think not, but for many, the holidays can cause a great deal of anxiety, stress and depression. Several of the more common reasons for this include financial stress, broken relationships, family issues and a known medical condition, Seasonal Affective Disorder. The latter, also known as SAD, has to do with the change in seasons and limited sunlight. Often, during the winter months, people will eat and sleep slightly more and do not particularly like the darker mornings and shorter days. For a few, the symptoms will be so severe that treatment is warranted. Treatment for SAD can involve phototherapy, a light box that is used for 30 minutes a day, or if you are lucky enough, you can go hang out in the Caribbean for a couple of months.
A few quick tips can alleviate some of the other issues that can be attributed to the holiday blues. For those feeling financial pressure, you can start a new family tradition of “Secret Santa”. Each family member is assigned one person to give a gift to as opposed to having to buy 50 gifts for all family members. Entertainment can be a bundled-up car ride exploring the neighborhoods and voting on best block for lights. Video chat is also a new techno-option giving a chance for a face-to-face visit with loved ones unable to be physically present for the holidays.
Broken relationships or the loss of a loved one can be very painful during the holidays and can provoke feelings of sadness, pain, anger and dread. Rest and nourishment are of utmost importance if this is the situation at hand. It is best to speak up and let your needs be known. If you need quiet time, say so; if you need people around, say that. In times of grief, it is hard for others to know your needs if left unspoken. Helping others also seems to be a way for people to get though the grief of losing another. It is often in taking the needs of others upon us that is quick to heal our own pain. Check the local paper and see where meals are being served and perhaps lend a hand if you feel up to it.
Family issues are another source of consternation for many during the holidays. In-laws, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews can be a bit overwhelming, if not downright scary at times. I can’t help but think of the movie “Four Christmases” with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. (Oh my goodness, what a hoot — in fact if you have not seen it and are feeling a little blue this is an easy recommendation for a chuckle or two.) In it, the couple devises a secret password to say when the other feels ready to leave an in-law’s home. Great idea, highly recommended to all couples this Christmas season!
I think all in all the greatest advice, one that I am personally working on, is just to “chill”. Enjoy the days, be thankful for all the blessings you have, hug a lot and watch some really funny movies if you can. Laughter, they say, is often the best medicine.
P.S. If you are in a situation causing great emotional discomfort, New Orleans has a wonderful crisis line, 211. It operates 24/7 with trained clinicians who are available to talk to you and, if needed, offer you referrals for a place to go to begin healing. 211 — very simple to use!
Cecile Tebo, a licensed clinical social worker, spent the last 10 years with the New Orleans Police Department crisis unit, and resigned in October to pursue a dream of finding new ways to improve services for the chronically mentally ill in New Orleans. Her thoughts on mental-health issues and resources in New Orleans appear Tuesdays in UptownMessenger.com.
Please write about the skinny crock potters one day!
Cecile – your story about the secret password reminds me of another holiday problem – getting people to leave when a party at your house has gone on too long. My usual trick is to “move” the party to Dos Jefes Bar down the street. This is a no-go on Christmas or Christmas Eve because it is CLOSED.
Well then, you just have to have everyone spend the night! Just read that if you have a party and someone leaves and gets in an accident you could be sued!!!! Yep….so slumber party at the Joyner house 😉
spend the night ?? you want to see the murder rate higher ?