Jean-Paul Villere: Die, Dumpster, Die!

At the end of the day I’m all about problem solving.  A real estate colleague recently shared a tale of somewhere on some sleepy block in the city some buyers scoping out a renovation.  As the couple rolled up on the site, they happened upon an idle dumpster in front of the home, and, scrawled upon the monolithic refuse conveyor were big, bold spray-painted letters reading “DIE.”  According to the story, the buyers paused for a moment and decided to withdraw their interest in viewing the house.  I quickly offered one should always have a can of spray paint handy, rolling around in their trunk as it were. Because if it were me, I’d be quick to add a “T” to that scenario, case closed.  Death transforms into watching one’s weight: diet. True story.

Papal inspiration.  My on-the-spot thinking hails from a story I recall of movie marketing in my youth.  Some crazy across-the-pond movie originally entitled The Pope Must Die when marketed stateside added a “t” in hopes of quashing any sacrilegious overtones.  Did it work?  I don’t think so, but then who cares?  It’s the notion of altering something ever so slightly to achieve a different response that got my attention.  As a ne’er do well student at times I found inspiration in manipulating some of the white boards of teachers, because well, I was that kind of pupil.  At times, depending on the occasion, I might erase or change letters, alter words entirely, like switching East to West.  Oddly enough and mostly in Mrs. Guadagno’s religion class.  But ’twas all in good fun!

Carpe Diem.  Another option, maybe my favorite.  Throw up a “CARPE” and endcap that “DIE” with an “M” and done deal Lucille.  Who wants to be told to lose weight?  That’s a rhetorical.  Wouldn’t we all rather be reminded to seize the day?  Also rhetorical.  Rather than straining an unexpected, inhaled gasp of “I think not” upon catching a gander of “DIE,” surely the emotive “CARPE DIEM” would at the very least wash over a pseudo academic bliss of standing firm atop one’s school desk.  Can I get an “O Captain!  My Captain!”?  I understand Dead Poet’s Society isn’t exactly blowing up the classic movie revival circuit, but Robin Williams’ legacy is depending on you.  Dare I offer: download it?

Adieu.  What could be more apropos ascribed upon a dumpster than a sweet foreign goodbye?  Adios is out of the question.  Aloha?  No.  Arrivederci, ciao, au revoir: all out of the question.  But the contents are gone.  To where?  The nearest landfill of course and forever.  Another real estate colleague has been known to utter the expression “Send it on to the next sucker!”  I can’t make this stuff up.  Not to take her phrase too much out of context, but adding an “A” and “U” might bring one to renew one’s passport and take a stab at some French speaking getaway.  Likely not, but still better than “DIE,” right?

Moral of the story: a can of spray paint can be your best friend. Perspective and imagination are everything.  Don’t sell yourself short when encountering the shortcomings of under-realized graffiti.  And boy does New Orleans have plenty of that.  Geez Louise and Helen, I understand practice makes perfect, but honestly many of our tags give tagging a bad name.  I’m writing this with a straight face, and while I don’t expound on it often, I am a firm believer graffiti does have its place in the world.  Death too.  In short, dumpsters can be canvasses like anything else, and inspiration is where you find it.

Jean-Paul Villere is the owner of Villere Realty on Freret Street and a married father of four girls. In addition to his Wednesday column at UptownMessenger.com, he also shares his family’s adventures sometimes via pedicab or bicycle on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.