Jean-Paul Villere
Okay Louisiana lawmakers, I give up! The pelican state’s recent but maybe not altogether surprising archaic approach to finessing legal uses of handheld devices while driving has me questioning the logic over in Baton Rouge. As of last week, motorists (and presumably bicyclists too) are prohibited from use of social media while operating their vehicles, and while texting under similar circumstances was recently banned, general use of handheld devices and / or the internet remains legal. Whiskey – Tango – Foxtrot elected officials and boo on you. Isn’t this a little like saying you can hold a cigarette while driving but you can’t put it to your lips? Or you can totally hit the drive thru and grab some artery clogging fare, and again hold it in your hand, but don’t eat it!
The two words missing here are: hands free. That’s it. That’s all. That’s all there is. You should either be able to use a phone in all its wonderment or you should have to go hands free. There shouldn’t be a splitting of hairs that you might legally lay a seven tiler on Words with Friends (try that while driving!) but be denied to contribute to trending hashtags. And I wasn’t kidding about bicycles either. Does the law translate to the two wheeled pedal powered set? Legally you can’t drink and drive nor can you drink and pedal, yet we still boast the endlessly amusing daiquiri drive thru and in quantity too. Because see you can buy it in the drive thru, you just can’t drink it until you’re in park or have exited the vehicle. Yeah – – – “Makes sense to me!” said no one ever.
Meanwhile motorists and bicycle enthusiasts alike around the metro area may hold their precious electronic devices to their ears like they’re waiting to hear what the latest lottery numbers are, and that my friends is legal? But boast a status update or RT some celeb’s ghost tweets, and you’ll be plunking down some Franklins. And here’s a thought: how does law enforcement prove this? While they have you pulled over do they pull up your social media accounts in their cruiser? Do they ask to see your phone? Is that legal to ask for some one’s phone? I’m thinking not. I’m no lawyer, but I would imagine law enforcement could ask for your phone and you could provide it, but legally you wouldn’t be required to turn it over to them, not without some level of device like a warrant or subpoena.
Before this gets any sillier, cup your hands around your mouth like a megaphone and shout like Elaine Benes to a rug wearing George Costanza and instead of shouting “You’re bald!” say it with me: “Hands free!” On some recent roadtripping through the mid Atlantic states and New England areas when I wasn’t paying $4 every 4 miles for a toll (you think I’m kidding?) I was noting the spray stenciled toll booths that read something along the lines of “handheld devices prohibited.” Unaccustomed to this law proper as I usually navigate bumpier, narrower roadways south of the Mason-Dixon I took heed. Whenever I used my phone I either pulled over or had it on speaker – and shouted. Getting pulled over ever – especially outside of my stomping grounds – remains low on my bucket list, although a big wink and nod to the Provo po po for making that scenario a reality a few years ago. Just call me slower than the herd with out of state plates, or as I’m sure our issuing ticket officer saw me: groceries.
Bottom line: the a la carte approach to enforcing a law over handheld technology is a dead end and a legal carbuncle. Let it go, Baton Rouge: you’re either pregnant, or you’re not. In other words, there should be no gray area with this direction of enforcement. As the law abiding citizenry most of us strive to be, walking the use of your smartphone tightrope reads like a French Quarter parking sign. You can park here, but not on Tuesdays or Thursdays or even Saturdays, and if you do so on those days it really better not be between 8 and 12 because you know, we clean the streets then. Hmm, really? Therefore, to those whom I may or may not have cast a vote for, please take note: stop overcomplicating things – some might say justifying your jobs – and get it done. It ain’t like you’re debating how to best build a levee or pay for it. Do that. And other things like that.
Jean-Paul Villere is the owner of Villere Realty and Du Mois Gallery on Freret Street and a married father of four girls. In addition to his Wednesday column at UptownMessenger.com, he also shares his family’s adventures sometimes via pedicab or bicycle on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Jean-Paul – Even a hands-free requirement would be overbroad. I use my phone to play music through my car stereo, for example, and there’s no practical difference between doing that and flipping through radio stations (which is legal). However, it would be easily mistaken for texting, use of social media, etc.
The real problem here is trying to make it to where the police, instead of focusing on actual moving violations, focus on the state of the driver. It’s all a sideshow. If police would enforce laws against failing to signal, illegal turns, illegal lane changes — all the basic, run-of-the-mill violations, then presumably they’d be catching distracted drivers, but they’d be doing so by focusing on the bad behaviors that distracted driving can cause rather than jumping the gun by pulling somebody over for merely answering their phone.
I have the same problem with DUI checkpoints, which pull cops off patrols, where they could look for dangerous and erratic driving, which are often caused by excessive drinking and are, in any event, the most proximate threats to public safety. Keeping the law simple and focused also tends to make it more effective.
Leges are like auditors. The come up with all kinds of silly, burdensome requirements.
Whenever I’m on two wheels (motorized or not) and thus not as visible as a Dodge Durango, it is undeniable that the near misses I have (no matter how defensive I am) seem to primarily come from drivers with cell phones in their hands. Lets just ban them outright from the driver’s seat. Enforcement may be an issue, but how about this: everytime there’s an accident with injury, the cellphone provider is required to turn over the voice and data records for the minutes leading up to the crash. Start tacking some serious fines on said drivers and start making some examples. Your driving privileges are just that: privileges. If you can’ put the damn phone down to get from A to B, call a cab.
Craig,
There are just so many dang ways to be an impaired or distracted driver. Some people always have passengers they’re arguing with. Some people are looking at maps. Some people are looking around for a location and not keeping their eyes on traffic. You can single out certain prominent distractions, but you can’t account for them all. By focusing on the distractions rather than the behaviors they actually cause, I think enforcement is misplaced and not as effective.
Let me ask you this. Are you suggesting that in the event of a hypothetical accident where someone is killed, that a driver who was clearly using a cell-phone (let’s say for texting) should be no more liable than if he were looking at a map?
(I’m not asking for an interpretation of current LA law on the matter, I’m just curious if you think there *should* be any increased liability/consequence in the event of injury caused by drivers on cell phones)