city government

Jean-Paul Villere: At what cost convenience?

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Dave Thomas brought us the drive thru.  The late founder of the fast food chain Wendy’s — beyond being the charismatic face of the company up until his death — in the fledgling days of the square-pattied empire devised a way for car-loving Americans across the country to stay put and nosh ever more quickly. (In-N-Out and Jack in the Box might stake earlier claims to the innovation, but find me one of those in the only metro area that matters.) It revolutionized commerce.  I can tell you from my days in a green apron, drive thru locations easily produce two to three times the revenue of locations without this 20th century gift.  As such, it employs more people and creates a better tax base too.  All good things, right?  Except when it comes to pollution and traffic congestion, those tick up as well.  Faster, reliable and more often: the American way, no?  Viagara, anyone? In my opinion the biggest and most important debate in the New Orleans metro area nowadays which will impact our 21st century status that you may or may not have even heard of is: what’s to be done with this Claiborne Expressway?  And for those that have expressed the two opposing sides, thus far there are some fiery furnaces glowing with epigrammatic fury.  Everything from “You guys are idiots if you want to tear down an interstate” to “Fuck the trucks,” the latter being my personal fave.  But that’s also where I stand.  Loss of the interstate would be a good thing, and I love the expressway.  I slingshot around Downtown from Uptown to Marigny with the best of them, and my drive time is totally cut in half by not traversing N Rampart across Canal and Poydras.  But so what? Just because you can get somewhere faster doesn’t mean you should.  We do have stop signs and speed limits, right?  So we already as a society regulate ourselves in terms of safety and use of time to plan for distance and schedule accordingly.  And the road-ectomy proposed would just mean more planning, and more of a time suck.  So what?  So you update your social media statuses (stati?) sooner?  I mean, what is anyone really doing with all that saved time but filling it up with other distraction?  Why not add more time to your travel log and in doing so reveal a part of our dear city that for decades has been choking on the exhaust of the bypassing millions in the shadows of massive concrete monoliths now nearing the end of their useful life?  I dare you. Is it a gamble?  Sure.  But honestly, what do we have to lose?  Travel time?  Better, what would we stand to gain?  One of the reasons proposed to keep the expressway is the notion that developers may swoop in and gasp!

opinion

Jean-Paul Villere: Battle of the Bans

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Okay Louisiana lawmakers, I give up!  The pelican state’s recent but maybe not altogether surprising archaic approach to finessing legal uses of handheld devices while driving has me questioning the logic over in Baton Rouge.  As of last week, motorists (and presumably bicyclists too) are prohibited from use of social media while operating their vehicles, and while texting under similar circumstances was recently banned, general use of handheld devices and / or the internet remains legal.  Whiskey – Tango – Foxtrot elected officials and boo on you.  Isn’t this a little like saying you can hold a cigarette while driving but you can’t put it to your lips?

crime

Jean-Paul Villere: Exiting the Salad Days

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Tomorrow I’ll make 39.  But that’s 24 hours away.  Which in New Orleans ain’t the surest of equations.  I know statistically warmer weather brings on more criminal activity, but temp wise we’ve had worse summers.  Some might say it’s been comparatively cool over seasons past.  Some might further say that might even explain away why here we are 2 months into the 2013 hurricane season with a thankfully uneventful record.  Some might go on about climate change too, but I digress.  As I creep into 40, the goal is to get there.  Avoid the pitfalls of the Crescent City diurnal.  Which again, doesn’t seem to get easier. I’m pretty sure when Merritt Landry retired the other evening before shooting (with one round, I might add) an unarmed Marshall Coulter at 2AM his plans for the night did not include those events.  And contextualizing the crime gives no one more sway.  A property owner stopped an intruder on his property.  More than this is almost moot.  I’ve never gunned down someone I’ve caught in the act of stealing from me, and I hope I never have to know what it’s like to be the shooter — or a thief for that matter.  I’ve been stolen from, I’ve been held up at gunpoint, and I’ve witnessed thefts.  Maybe that’s the holy trinity of being a New Orleanian, but I will offer it doesn’t make it normal. Yesterday I received a neighborhood email blast for the Milan area detailing one neighbor’s account of yet another theft from some one’s yard.  Supposedly at dawn a man in his 40s or 50s was seen in a back yard and helped himself to an oversized aluminum pot, often used for crawfish boils.  The story goes he took the item and slowly made his getaway on bicycle, and NOPD arrived some time later, took the report, and was supposedly going to further investigate at an area scrap yard.  Three words: yawn, yeah right.  Anyhow, the gunning down of Marshall Coulter clearly didn’t make this individual think twice about their actions, but then one may guess the thief operated unaware and fearless. Stealing has never been acceptable.  Are you Jean Valjean stealing bread to feed your family?  I don’t think so.  In 21st century America we have more access to food and resources no other generation has known.  True story: last week I ate lunch at a Sbarro in the Pentagon with my 2 oldest daughters and an old friend who works there that gave us a little tour.  After we ate, walking down one of the myriad of hallways we passed before a painting of George Washington at the Potomac in winter.  And the contrast was just ridiculous.  I’m eating and feeding my children prefab pizza in the premiere armed forces building while centuries ago ol’ George and co. had a much less easy go of it.

arts, books and music

Jean-Paul Villere: Mural compass

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“Sometimes when I’m in the studio streaming ‘OZ, I hear the live wire music line-up for the evening, and I want to hop on my bike and take a ride into the Quarter and see what’s goin’ on,” says Andy Dahl.  “I really miss New Orleans, but I’m really enjoying what I’m doing here too so – – -,” he adds.  Woven into the fabric of most metropolitan areas are the working class – and often starving – artists.  New Orleans possesses its fair share, and in the course of the last year or so, one such soul transplanted to Baltimore.  On a recent road trip up east I briefly caught up with Andy and peered into what he’s been up to since having left (hopefully temporarily) the Crescent City.

business

Jean-Paul Villere: OCH rising — the Casa Borrega journey

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Oretha Castle Haley Boulevard has been the on-again, off-again comeback kid for a few decades now in the Central City neighborhood of New Orleans.  Originally a retail corridor known simply as another leg of Dryades, suburban growth and inner city decay atrophied this dusty avenue wedged between the Lower Garden and the Warehouse districts.  In the years I’ve known it, none of the original merchants from yesteryear remain (unlike Freret where the street-namesaked hardware store boasts an unparalleled longevity of operations, over half a century and counting, yes?).  But tomorrow another door opens toward the promising future in a not-so-little venture known as Casa Borrega.  Here’s a quick Q & A I conducted with the owners via email to bring you up to speed:

Q: Who are you and what do you guys do?

city government

Jean-Paul Villere: The ‘safe’ city

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“I want a safe neighborhood.”  On any given day I must hear this a good dozen times from newbies (and parents of newbies) moving to New Orleans, less so from those that are returning or looking for a change of scenery already calling the city home.  And the why is simple I think: if you’ve chosen to reside in the city proper then you likely engage on a level of “This ain’t Mayberry.”  Yes, it is a Southern space that affords the stereotypes therein where neighbors and strangers alike trade routine pleasantries, comments on the weather, and the not so stray parallel park assist, but that doesn’t translate to lowering your guard or not following your gut. Everyone wants a safe neighborhood, but arguably crime happens all over; there isn’t a corner in the Crescent City any one can point to and say ‘Here!  It’s totally safe here in the Cemetery District.  Unlock your doors, and leave your bike unchained and smart phone unattended.” 

Dear newbies,

For starters, there is no Cemetery District (yet).  Locking your doors remains highly advisable.  If you have a bike, expect to replace it on a semi annual basis.  And your routine use of any electronics does nothing more than distract you and identify you as a target. And dear locals,

As a reminder, the Cemetery District has yet to be coined, but gentrification willing, it will happen.  I sincerely hope bike #3 is working out for you, but we both know it’s only a matter of time before you move on, less by choice, to bike #4.  Now stop walking and txting. Moving on.  When you read about or possibly are personally impacted by crime, normal becomes redefined for you, does it not?  After all, it really isn’t normal to have a neighbor executed overnight in the Lower Garden or an abduction and rape in broad daylight in the Garden District or even a university-area robbery at gunpoint by preteens in skeleton masks.  Yet these events and many others become woven into the fabric of the current events of New Orleans.  And therefore effectively become the brand the rest of world applies to us.  Along with our food, music, Hollywood South hoo ha, and millennial entrepreneurial shenanigans, there’s still the bad and the ugly. And a brand new jail won’t save you.  Nor will a bunch of high tech street cameras.  All these will do is maybe document any misdeeds and half a chance house those convicted of any wrongdoing.  Does that really solve anything?  Maybe that’s when monosyllabic adjectives get enhanced, and things become safer.  When criminals know they’re being watched and their choices may land them in a state of the art pokey.  The safe city everyone seeks suddenly shifts from the so-so sometimes report card of a C- to a solid B.

For the most part, I feel at ease in the city, but please don’t misunderstand me.  My home has been broken into, and I’ve even been held up at gunpoint, though thankfully not at the same time and not recently.  So yes, New Orleans isn’t safe, but it is safer.  Truly safer than I’ve ever known it.  Stupid things will happen in every neighborhood every day, and no one is immune to criminal elements.  Ultimately safety is a feeling often in the absence of fear and maybe it is born out of equal parts preventative technology and self awareness.  Then again, maybe it’s only a personal choice: you either feel safe or you don’t.  Do you?

events

Jean-Paul Villere: Same old, same old

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This year, the security measures in place from previous fests seemed largely unchanged – or – maybe even exactly the same. Bags searched? Maybe. Strollers examined? Ha! And the coup de gras of all contraband concealers the chair tube: opened? Nary a one. Frankly my fellow New Orleanians in a post Boston Marathon bombing world, this is not okay.

business

Jean-Paul Villere: How to rent an apartment in New Orleans

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Repeat after me and out loud if you like: the New Orleans rental market is not like other rental markets.  And mantra or double down if it helps you: the New Orleans rental market is not like other rental markets.  It is only the first week of March, and I wrote about this last April, but it has become my mission to educate the public on this.  Since the beginning of the year my phone rings non stop abuzz with anxious returnees and largely clueless university parentals most all not even looking to rent till end of May and maybe August.  Ready for some contradictory advice?  Relax.  But be ready to be ready.  Why?  Read on:

(1) Timing.  Most rentals are only known to the market within 3-5 weeks of their availability.  So if you seek a June 1 move in date, exhale.  Don’t even think of reviewing inventory unless it’s mid April.  It’s true, everyone will be clamoring, but that’s the way it goes.  Too, if something is vacant and available now – as in today – why are you looking at it?  That landlord wants their tenant muy pronto, not in 12 weeks. (2) Use an agent.  The lessor pays the agent (if it’s a listing), so it costs you nothing.  Many won’t return your calls; they just won’t.  We’re a busy market, and one-off calls have a way of falling through the cracks.  Is it right?  No.  But expect it to happen.  Few lessors are shopping the housing wanted ads on Craigslist so a little aggressiveness, assertiveness, and all around persistence on your part will serve you. 

(3) Timing revisited.  If you see something that clicks, put in an app.  This is not the leisurely shopper’s market.  If you are looking at other spaces be quick about it.  The one you just saw might go to the next viewer, or the viewer that saw it before you.  And our inventory is thin.  How thin?  You don’t wanna know.  Thank Hollywood and an ever-improving reputation for this. (4) You and 3 of your closest friends.  Like each other today.  Will drive an agent absolutely bonkers coordinating schedules for showings and who likes and doesn’t like what or this and that.  Stop.  Did you read (3)?  Find a place and stay there, a 2/1 I’m talking.  Choose one friend.  Renew your lease next year.  Same roomie?  Great!  Didn’t work out?  Find another roomie, but keep that lease (unless you hate your place).  Why?  Again, our inventory is thin and  – – –

(5) Rents are higher than you’ll expect.  “Them’s Dallas prices” I’ve heard people kvetch.  Maybe they are.  Maybe they’re worse.  I don’t know; I don’t live in Dallas.  When tenant turnover happens invariably the rent goes up.  How much?  Some times a bunch.  Why?  Taxes, insurance, and supply and demand.  If you stay some place, your rent is likely to stay the same too.  If you moved out of state 2 years ago and want to come back to Mid-City today, expect shock.  $1200 is the new $850. (6) Pets.  Oy, pets.  New Orleans landlords famously don’t want any pets.  There are those who will take them.  Embrace (4).  If you find a place that takes you and your non-human children, cohort(s), or otherwise companion(s), stay there.  Or buy.  When you own, who can dictate – apart from city code – what pets you have and how many?  Not your lender.  But your landlord can and will. (7) Finery.  Get the details out in the vetting process.  Who pays for what utilities?  What about pest control?  Yard care?  How’s the water pressure?  What about tenant disputes with other tenants?  Why’d the last tenant leave?  If an appliance breaks who is responsible for fixing it?  Are the walls, floors, and/or attic insulated?  You can never know too much about what you propose to rent.

events

Jean-Paul Villere: Come Rain or Come Shine — My Top Five 2013 Mardi Gras Moments

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So this Carnival wasn’t the sunniest, but at least it wasn’t the wettest (or coldest).  All told, it seemed to be a well attended, largely respectable gathering save for the obligatory Bourbon St shooting and other gun / parade infractions.  Unfortunate realities aside, personally my season rounded out into some a-has (3 involving my mother-in-law), otherwise just some observations worth noting:

(1) Napoleon triumphed.  Despite the pervasive drain work uprooting the neutral ground and Rex route, the powers that be kept a fairly tight rein over any possible public safety issues.  Quel surprise.  Kudos to said powers.  I can almost still hear the horns of the 18 wheeler truck parades, but really nothing can drown that out, except – – –

(2) Bad karaoke.  In the 2300 block of Napoleon post parade queue there sprouted a front porch party courtesy (from my lay outsider assessment) a Canadian one man band avec Alberta plates “PIANOMN.”  Pair awful classics like The Outfield’s Your Love with an auto-tuner, turn the volume to 11, and voila: instant auditory regret.  But hey, this was just my neighborhood; I hope yours was spared anything similar. (3) Millaudon.  Is nowhere near anything parade related.  But somehow my mother-in-law, a native New Orleanian mind you, had never heard of this little stretch in the Black Pearl.  Eyebrow raising information she shared while we were attending a Mardi Gras event there last week.  Moments later as Iko Iko played over the radio she looked at me quizzically and asked “I’m going to set your what on fire!?” (4) My grandma didn’t know she was supposed to set your flag on fire.  This was the second dumbstruck moment for me via my wife’s mother.  Again, her being a native, I didn’t know how to respond.  First Millaudon, now this!  Clearly holes in the fabric of the family I married into were surfacing.  What could possibly happen next, except maybe on Mardi Gras Day as Rex passed she offers – – –

(5) “This is the first time I’ve actually seen the King in Rex.”  Now come on!!  Buyer beware: those engaged to be wed to a local girl take heed my revelation some 15 years later.  Ask now: has your future mother-in-law ever seen Rex, scepter and all, even once?  Does she know the lyrics to Iko Iko, and is Millaudon at least a cursory name in her street vocab?  Important questions I never knew I needed knowing the answers to. All told, I loved this season.  Even if we donned a poncho once or twice.  Even if my carnival moments may be somewhat tame compared to others and heavy on in-law takeaways, but so what?  Mardi Gras means something different for everyone I think.  Just ask the Canadian with the auto-tuner. Jean-Paul Villere is the owner of Villere Realty and Du Mois Gallery on Freret Street and a married father of four girls.