Aug 242012
 

Christy Lorio (photo by Leslie Almeida)

I’m a part of a very unpopular, secret club where the members only speak amongst themselves in code and whispers. Stepping out as a whipping boy, I speak on behalf of the people that are too chicken to admit it: I’m not a football fan.

Admitting you aren’t a football enthusiast in the post-Saints-Superbowl climate is about as popular of a proclamation as stating that you worked at BP after the oil spill. I’ve attempted to understand football, but I don’t quite get it. I was in marching band all four years of high school, which meant I had to go to every single game. I think the only pigskin knowledge I retained was what a touchdown is since we had to play the fight song when the team scored.

Maybe it’s the violent nature, akin to a modern day coliseum. Maybe it’s the ravenous consumption: there’s the pre-game shows, the game itself, then the post-game commentary. Then of course there are the products, the endorsement deals, happy meal toys, licensed clothing, NFL bathmats, branded baby bottles, etc… IT’S ALL FOOTBALL ALL THE TIME.  Or maybe it’s because I truly suck at sports. I was that kid who got picked last in PE class. I will say this: I was really, really good at dodgeball in elementary school, mostly because I was afraid of getting hit.

Of course watching the Saints play is so much more than just watching a game. People get so excited for black and gold, and I can’t say I blame them. Rooting for the home team garners a sense of pride. It’s also an easy way for a newcomer to fit in: just root for the Saints and you’re good. It’s not that I don’t love my hometown, or that I don’t support the Saints, it’s just that I don’t like football. I have a friend whose dad reads the sports section in the newspaper just so he can stay up on lunchroom conversation at work the next day.  Never mind that he didn’t actually watch the game.  I met a colleague at a coffee shop last fall and answered the simple question, “Are you watching the game tonight?” with an honest “I don’t like football,” and judging from the looks I got I thought I might have to sneak out the back door to avoid getting sacked. That’s a football term, right?

Look, I’m not a killjoy. I want people to enjoy themselves, and I’ll dabble in the revelry on occasion by donning the team colors for our (mandatory) black-and-gold dress-up days at work. Just don’t make me watch the game.

Christy Lorio, a native New Orleanian, writes on fashion at slowsouthernstyle.com and is also a freelance writer whose work has been featured online and in print magazines both locally and nationally.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/Floatielee Monique Hamilton

    Admits to not caring about football, except for all the traffic getting on my nerves.

  • http://twitter.com/DigitalObsidian Digital Obsidian

    I admit that I also do not get overly excited about football. After all it’s just a game. I do not see the same fanfare for tennis, or other sports, so why so much brouhaha over this one?

  • http://twitter.com/jmloquist Jeff Loquist

    Worse than that is the looks you get admitting you don’t care about the Saints…or LSU. I can appreciate the fervor, but I’m not from here originally. Many people can’t seem to comprehend that you don’t instantly fall in love with the local team.

  • Johnny

    I enjoy when the Saints loose because I get to watch adults at work pout like babies.

  • Lucy

    I think I hurt some people’s feelings by admitting I don’t care about the sport or the team …

  • Craig

    I get the same reaction when I tell folks I’m not a big fan of crawfish boils.

  • Owen Joyner

    A taboo subject that needs exposure
    3 thoughts
    1- Pro football is truly the opiate of the suburbs – it affords people a respite from the malls and lawn trimming. A city with a French Quarter or a Greenwich Village does’t really need it.
    2- Who wants to spend a spectacular N.O fall afternoon in the Dome?
    3- The above said, the Saints do provide something of a racial salve; it is heartwarming to see a white person wearing a black players jersey and vice versa.

  • http://twitter.com/SpacewaysTravel B P Messenger

    I’m with you, Christy. My parents are football fanatics but I could never understand how you could get excited about a game that mostly involves stopping played by guys with no necks.